if this is to end in fire
by doomed-flower
Summary: (then we shall all burn together) the story of how the daughter of Prince Rhaegar and Princess Elia escaped the Sack of King's Landing and has been on the run ever since, hiding her true identity and fighting the demons of her past.
1. through the eyes of a child

_Hello :) This is my first story and English is not my native language, just to warn you. I was playing around with the thought of Rhaenys surviving so here it is - this will definately be multi-chaptered but let's see what you think of it. Feedback is very much appreciated especially concerning the language! _

_Ps. this will not have any spoilers for the books/show except for events that took place before the story itself (Robert's Rebellion etc.), so don't worry if you haven't catched up with GOT yet ;)_

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**through the eyes of a child**

The daughter of crown prince Rhaegar Targaryen and his wife - the dornish princess Elia Martell - was born on a quiet night a midst winter and spring, 279 years after Aegon's Landing. Some say the only sound in the moment of her birth was the strong cry of a newborn, echoing through the whole capital and that even the waves on the sea were calm. That cry has carried her through years of heartbreak, hurt and loneliness but it always gave her the strength to fight just like she fought in that very first moment…

_"What shall we name her?" Rhaegar looked upon his wife, pale and slick with sweat, dark curls sticking to her forehead. Her smile however, warmed his heart like it rarely did - a symbol of her genuine happiness. "She shall have a strong name - full of history and hardness that will make people gasp and bow before her", she whispered, her finger trailing over the soft skin of the infant, her dark eyes filled with all the love she could give. "I was thinking about Rhaenys, after the wife of Aegon the Conqueror, your ancestor."_  
_Rhaegar blinked once, freezing for a moment and looking at the young woman before him. Never had he imagined Elia would look this far into Targaryen history and be content with naming their daughter, their first-born, after a dragon rider. But her lingering gaze spoke of pride and determination and made the corners of his lips tug up in joy. "Rhaenys Targaryen, Princess of Dragonstone and all the Seven Kingdoms", he said softly, his words laced with the sweetness of his smile and he found he had never felt a more warming sensation in his heart than in the moment he held his newborn daughter close, promising her all of Westeros and beyond._

Rhaenys mother Elia fell ill soon after giving birth to her which left the newborn in the care of her father Rhaegar who deeply loved the child. With awe he used to carry her around the castle and talk to her like an adult, showing her everything that she would once inherit from him. He would call her sweet names like '**my sunlight**' which Elia chose or '**little dragon**' because he prayed to the gods above she would become just as fierce and strong as he was. The maids of the castle say they have never laid eyes upon a father who loved and adored his child more than Rhaegar did Rhaenys.

Despite being a true Targaryen, the princess favored her mother's appearance with the olive skin of the Dornish as well as Elia's black eyes. On her second name day her dark brown hair had already grown past her waistline and was as hard to calm as the waters at Storm's End, her curls seeming to be just as lively as she was herself. However, you could tell from the first day that she had inherited her father's fire and intelligence, his strength and stubbornness at times. The servants of the Red Keep adored the princess and her silly laughter that used to echo from the high, deep red walls and if she wasn't asking Rhaegar about the Targaryen history, questioning names of kings and their queens, she would play with the other children of the castle, servants and highborn alike until she was exhausted and covered in sand and grass.

_"I have a present for you, my sweet child." Her grandfather Aerys had long silver hair like her father but his face was not as warm, his gaze lingering rather coldly on anyone that wasn't family. However, Rhaenys loved him and the surprises he would give her every now and then or sitting on his lap on that iron chair he ruled from. She would look down on all those men, lords and ladies from the Westerlands or the North or the Reach and listen to what they had to say and what the King answered in return. "One day all of those people will bow before you, Rhaenys, and you will rise with a crown on your beautiful head and will strike everyone down who won't obey you." he told her once, his eyes dark with determination and Rhaenys giggled because she did not understand._  
_On her third name day, one year before everything would be ripped from the small princess, he presented her with a little kitten. It's fur sparkled a deep dark blue in the sunlight and was soft under her curious fingertips, its head snuggled against her belly as soon as she seated it in her lap, eyes wide with joy and excitement. "What will you name him, child?", her grandmother Rhaella asked with a soft smile and Rhaenys looked up to her mother and father and at the sky and giggled childishly. "His name shall be Balerion as he will become a dragon one day just as big and great as the Balerion Aegon took our home with." She would always remember the proud look in her fathers eyes._

As Elia was of weak health and had been sick for months after Rhaenys birth it was not certain she would ever be able to carry a child again. Therefore, Rhaegar and his father made plans to marry Rhaenys to the remaining heir of the Targaryen line, her uncle Viserys. Her grandfather loved her deeply and was convinced that, should his firstborn son die before having a male heir, the union of Viserys and Rhaenys would carry on the dynasty with pride and contentment. Therefore her father would take her to royal affairs, letting her sit on his knee and learning how to behave like a true princess. He would also let the maester give her lessons on Westerosi and Targaryen history, teaching her words and houses and names. Shortly after her third name day she was able to remember the great houses and their rulers, words and colours and when she told her father he would ruffle her hair and smile proudly.  
On other days Rhaenys used to play with her kitten Balerion, pretending it was the great dragon her ancestors rode to Westeros on. She would run around the castle, the kitten scooped up in her arms and imagine walls melting and dragons roaring and herself being a dragon rider as beautiful as the very first Rhaenys and as strong as her lord father.

When Rhaenys was told her mother was with child again, the princess didn't understand at first. However as her mothers belly grew larger she would notice her father looking at Elia differently. It made her all the more happy when Rhaegar started to spend more time with his family and she enjoyed the hours the three of them would spend around the castle, playing games or singing and dancing foolishly.

_The room stunk of sweat and blood, barely tolerable for her small stomach, but Rhaenys entered nonetheless. She was told of a little brother her mother had delivered this night and was eager to meet her new playmate. With hesitant steps she reached her mother's bed, eyes growing wide at the sight of a small bundle with hands and feet resting on her mother's chest. She didn't notice how pale Elia was or how her eyes were glassy and red, her limbs barely strong enough to hold the infant._  
_"Rhaenys I would like you to meet your little brother, Aegon." She whispered, the awe obvious in her voice and the girl felt a slight hint of jealousy overtaking her as she saw her father snuggling closer to the baby, bringing his lips to Aegon's forehead which was covered in fine silver hair._  
_"Aegon as in Aegon the Conquerer? The first king?"_  
_"Yes, sweet child." Rhaegar said without taking his eyes off the son he never thought he would have. Rhaenys thought that normally he would have called her his sunlight or little dragon and she could find nothing sweet or lovable in the features of the newborn, turning on her heels and running out of the room to find Balerion._

Rhaenys hated Aegon at first, very well knowing that he would inherit the throne Viserys was originally planned for. At her age she hadn't cared about becoming queen or ruling but after Aegon's birth she became more and more aware of her father's absence from King's Landing or him spending more time with her baby-brother than her. She also noticed how Aegon, even in his early days, looked so much more like a true Targaryen than her with violet-blue eyes and silver strands of hair, resembling her father and grandfather and uncle while she looked foreign and not like a Targaryen princess and it only made her hate him more fiercely.

It wasn't until her father had disappeared for weeks, her mother still tired and sleepy from delivering the baby to this world and Aegon crying and screaming and so annoying her that she walked up to his nursery one day and looked him straight in the face. Her small heart missed a beat when she found that strangely her little brother was so tiny and still such a sweet thing and that somehow the sight of her had made him stop crying.

With time she came to love Aegon's weird sounds and small fingers and the way his face would light up when she would look into his crib. One day her Septa would catch her snuggled up to the baby secretly, whispering sweet words to him. "One day you will rule this kingdom, little Aegon, like our ancestors and you will be a great king and I will be at your side, I promise." From this day the two were inseparable and Rhaenys loved to carry her little brother around, calling him sweet names and tickling his stomach until he made strange sounds that somehow she identified as giggling. Often she was the only one who could calm the screaming child when Elia was sick, Rhaegar gone and her Septa helpless to do anything but stand by and sing songs that made his crying only increase. With Rhaenys, however, Aegons lilac eyes would light up whenever he saw her and he would raise is small, chubby hands until she would take him into her arms.

The war broke out shortly before her fourth name day, her father ridden off with a dark-haired beauty moons ago. She would see her mother cry sometimes but was too young to understand, so instead she would wait for her father's return everyday near the gates of the Red Keep; looking over the capital's rows of houses until he would come back all sparkling hair and shining armor and with a content smile on his lips. She would run up to him with carefree laughter and crying out in joy when he would scoop her up in his arms, ruffling her hair and calling her sweet names and for one or two days everything would be as it had been until he rode out again, leaving her more desperate to see him than before.

_It was a cold night, the last time she saw him. She had already been asleep but woke when she felt her bed sink, a large body pressing close to hers. When she opened her eyes, moonlight reflected in her father's silver hair and she would find her hand reaching out to touch his cheek. Wearing a smile on his lips, Rhaegar seemed as confident and strong as he had always been, as she would always remember him. "I am leaving tomorrow." The words hit her right in her stomach, knocking the breath out of her but when she wanted to protest and cry he continued hastily: "It won't be long now, the demons are almost defeated and then we will all go visit your mother's family in Dorne - Prince Oberyn and Prince Doran and Princess Arianne. Would you like that, little dragon?" She nodded, tears shining in her eyes. He hadn't called her by that name ever since Aegon had been born._  
_Rhaegar hugged her closer, pulling her small body into his. "Father you must take Baeleron with you then, he will protect you, he is a true dragon!" Her voice was barely a whisper, shaking with fear and dying on the fabric that covered his shoulder. Still the prince laughed, running a hand through her dark, long hair. "I would rather leave him here so he can protect you and Aegon and your mother, my sunlight."_  
_His lips softly brushed her forehead before he turned to leave her, thinking of seeing her in time and finally teaching his daughter on how to hold a bow and arrow properly._

He would never see her again. Instead, the common people say the last name on his lips was that of Lyanna Stark. When Rhaenys heard of that tale years later, she could not stop herself from hating her father with all the fire she had left in her. She hated him so much that the feeling almost immediately turned into love and the craving of his strong arms holding her, holding her together.

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Thoughts are very much appreciated! (:


	2. i'll learn from your mistakes

So it took me quite a while to update this, which I'm terribly sorry for. Life, other ideas and inspiration got in the way but here we are, back with Rhaenys. Thank you for the kind reviews! **Just to clarify **Rhaenys is no OC of mine but the trueborn daughter of Rhaegar and Elia. Also I started writing this before A World of Ice and Fire came out so any information given there might not be what you can find in this story (Rhaenys birth year/place &amp; relationship to her grandfather), however I decided against rewriting this.

There will be around three more chapters focusing on what happened to her and Aegon after the Sack of King's Landing.

As always, enjoy and tell me what you think! :)

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Rhaenys was very close with her mother, always looking up to her on how to behave as a lady as she adored the way Elia moved or spoke or acted. She thought her a true lady, a beautiful princess and whenever she visited the Great Sept of Baelor she prayed for the same beauty and grace. However, Rhaenys lacked Elia's gentleness and had inherited Rhaegar's temperament and fighting spirit. But is was said, that she reminded Prince Doran and Prince Oberyn of her mother nonetheless whenever she ran around the courtyard with silly laughter and light in her eyes. Encouraged by these words she would try to impersonate her in sitting and walking properly, following her around her day which would make Elia laugh at times.

_"Why do you call me those names, mother?" Rhaenys asked one day, not long before the war broke out which would tear apart her entire family. She came rushing into her mother's chambers just before the sun embraced the horizon and she was supposed to go to bed. Elia was seated on her large bed, smiling at the young, breathless girl and reached out to run her fingers through the dark curls on the princess head. "What is the sigil of our house, sweetheart?"_  
_"A threeheaded dragon, one for Aegon and each of his sister wives, red on black", Rhaenys answered immediately._  
_"Very well. The first Queen Rhaenys was Aegon's most beloved sister, did you know that? Your father named you after her just after you were born. You are one of the three dragon heads." Rhaenys nodded, a silly giggle escaping her lips. "And do you know what the sigil of my house was before I married your father", her mother questioned further._  
_"A splendid sun with a spear because we are of the blood of Nymeria."_

_Elia smiled, bending down and taking the girl's face into her soft hands._  
_"You see, you are still a part of that house. You are the sun that makes everything beautiful but dragon's fire runs in your veins. You are unbowed, unbent, unbroken with fire and blood. You are my sunlight, my little dragon."_  
_She had to think about this for a moment, the meaning of her mother's words not clear to her then. "So I am a beautiful dragon… like my Balerion?" she would ask and her eyes would shine with pride and joy._  
_"Of course!" Her mother laughed, ruffling her hair. Only years later, feeling broken and spent and so far from home, would her mother's words come to her again and give her strength when she repeated them to herself: I am unbowed, unbent, unbroken with fire and blood…_

When Rhaegar had only eyes for baby Aegon or the war, Elia would come to Rhaenys chambers shortly before bedtime and brush and braid the girl's dark curls and tell her stories of Dorne and her childhood there. Rhaenys would listen with joy filling her big brown eyes and Elia would send her to bed with a kiss on her forehead and promises of visiting Sunspear soon.  
When Rhaegar was too busy to call his daughter by the sweet names the parents had given her, Elia did it even more with genuine pride and love in her voice.  
And in return, when the little girl found her mother curled up on her bed, crying because her husband had left again - with or without Lyanna Stark didn't matter - Rhaenys would crawl into her arms and press her small hand against her mothers and smile. And so the two princesses would lay still while sunlight or moonlight would shine through the open window.

_"I am never going to be Queen, am I?" Rhaenys did not care for power or ruling - she had only just seen her fourth name day and didn't even understand the meaning of the word 'Queen' properly. However she understood that everyone cared more about her baby-brother now than about her and it made her feel empty and sad in her stomach._  
_Elia sighed, smiling sadly. "Of course you will be. You will be Aegon's wife one day as it is tradition in the Targaryen family." Even then Rhaenys could see how much her mother did not approve of this method. She seemed to think that any son of any lord would be better suited for the girl than her own brother; maybe Willas or Garlan Tyrell or maybe even a smaller house. But hearing those words made the princess hopeful and warmed her heart and brought a smile to her lips. Who could be a better husband to her than her own brother? Why would it be bad if they were to sit beside one another, ruling Westeros together as siblings? She knew she was meant to be Viserys Queen and she loved her uncle dearly, but little Aegon was the most precious person to her and she would rather rule beside him than anyone else. So she did not understand when lines of worry crowded her mother's forehead and she tugged her closer, holding her so tight the little princess could barely breathe._  
_Years later Rhaenys felt disgusted at the thought of marrying her little brother, of having his children. She loved him deeply but never, never, would she have been a good wife to him._

The war was hard and seemed to last forever. King's Landing remained untouched at first but Rhaenys overheard her father and her grandfather speaking of villages that had been burned or battles which had been lost. She didn't understand why people wanted to hurt her family or why her father rode out again and again and came home with a desperate look on his face and blood on his armour. When she climbed into Elia's bed at night, the Princess had no answer for her either. Why would anyone try to hurt her family, the rightful rulers of the Seven Kingdoms? Rhaenys knew nothing of what Rhaegar did or of Aerys' cruelty. All she knew was that she wanted her father.  
And then came the day when he didn't return. When she would wait near the gates for hours until a small boy arrived, his hair ruffled and his face smeared with blood. He would not stop talking, screaming, saying her father's name and that of another and the guards needed to carry him to King Aerys.  
Rhaenys remembered the screams of her grandfather and grandmother and the tears on her mothers cheeks and how Viserys would sob, eyes turning a horrible red. She remembered her mother tugging her close, her hand running over the girl's back. She remembered her saying her father's name over and over and small whimpers escaping her in between. "He will be avenged, little dragon. Robert Baratheon will pay for what he's done.", Elia would whisper at once and Rhaenys still did not understand.

Robert never paid for Rhaegar's death. In fact, it was the Targaryens and Martells who suffered but Rhaenys captured that name in her heart, captured the utter disgust and hate her mother had used with it and the more name days she saw, the more she swore to herself that Robert would pay when she would draw her war hammer across his chest and drown him in the Trident like he did her father and she would stab his children and cut the throat of his wife.

Viserys was sent away shortly after the news of Rhaegar's death arrived in King's Landing. Rhaenys had no tears left. When they told her, her father would never return, never call her sweet names or carry her around again, she screamed and wouldn't let anyone near her for days. Anyone but Elia and baby Aegon.  
And then she was told that her grandmother Rhaella and her uncle Viserys would be taken to Dragonstone. She did not cry or scream only ran to Aerys and asked him why.  
"Why can't mother and Aegon and I not go with them?"  
Aerys looked at her long and intensly, all love seemed to have drained from him. "Do you think I will send you to Dragonstone so your uncle Doran can sweep in and carry you away to Dorne, so he can stab me in the back", he screamed. He never screamed at her - at his guards or Rhaella or even at Rhaegar sometimes but never at her. Still Rhaenys stood her ground, swallowing hard and reaching her hand out to touch his. Of course she had no clue on what her grandfather was talking about, still she smiled. "Then we will stay here with you, grandfather, so you won't have to be alone." Aerys didn't return the smile.  
When Rhaenys went to her mother and told her they would stay with the king, Elia nodded and hugged her daughter close. "It is going to be alright, mother."  
Elia kissed her head, her gaze drifting to somewhere far. "Yes, it will be, my sunlight."

_She met up with Viserys the night before he and his mother would be sailing for Dragonstone. He had always been more like a friend to her than an uncle as he was closely her age. He had used to chase her around the castle or hide with her in empty chambers and played all games they knew. He used to read her stories of the kings of old or tell her about their ancestors. "_  
_"You may become king now", Rhaenys had whispered when they met in one of the unoccupied chambers in the east of the keep._  
_Viserys had shrugged. "You still have a brother. Aegon will be King one day." But his voice trembled and Rhaenys knew in that moment there was no chance for them. Something terrible would happen or else Grandfather would not send his heir away._  
_"He wants to keep you safe." She had reached for his hand in the dark, squeezed it as hard as she could to give them both the comfort they needed. He had turned to her then, silver hair shining in the dim moonlight. "I will come for you again, I promise. I will find you again." They had sat there, smiling happily until they fell asleep and were awoken in the morning by servants shouting their names._  
_"Goodbye little sun", Viserys had whispered, his lilac eyes filled with unshed tears and in the blink of an eye he had pressed a kiss to her small, soft lips. He was gone before Rhaenys could say anything and when she wanted to bid her goodbye to him later, Aerys forbid it._

_So when she thought back to that moment years later, she realized Viserys was the only boy she had ever loved and she might have become happy ruling as his queen._

Later she did not know how her mother planned their escape or how she seemed to know they would not win this war. She came to her bed one night, waking her with hushed words and shaking hands. She wrapped her daughter in a dark cloak, letting a hood cover her small face. Rhaenys asked her what was going on, her body shaking with fear, but Elia only kissed the girl's forehead and took Aegon from his crip.  
Two men appeared in the room and Rhaenys wanted to scream, but her mother pressed a gentle hand to her mouth, telling her to keep quiet. Only then did Rhaenys notice the tears burning in the familiar eyes and another kind of fear overtook her.  
Her mother took her small hands in hers, smiling at her sadly. "You need to be strong now, little dragon. As strong as the first Queen Rhaenys and as your father. You can't run or tell anyone who you are."  
"Mother, I do not under-.."  
"Promise me you will look after your little brother, Rhaenys. He is too small to look after himself. You can never lose him, please, you have to stay together." Rhaenys nodded slowly, tears making tracks on her cheeks now, her lips quivering.  
"Won't you come with us, Mother?" she asked and even more afraid of the answer she already knew.  
Elia let her hand drift over her daughter's cheek. "I will follow you as soon as I can. You need to be a strong girl now, my sunlight."  
Her mother stood, letting her hand fall from hers and nodding at the men, who took Aegon and her hand and Rhaenys sobbed. "I will be as strong as you then, Mother."  
The last thing she saw of Elia was her smile, saddened but hopeful at the same time.

She wanted to take Balerion but the men told her to hurry so all she had left were the clothes on her body and the small bundle that was her brother, wrapped in blankets and sleeping safely.  
The men wore the sun of House Martell and that comforted Rhaenys at last. They escaped the Red Keep in the deep of the night, fog covering them while they hurried through the small streets of King's Landing down to the harbour. At some point one of the men scooped her up in his arms, so they could hurry faster and when she asked what was going on, they told her to be quiet. They were neither very gentle nor particularly friendly but her mother seemed to trust them, so Rhaenys would not utter any more words. Over the shoulder of the man she could see the castle on Aegon's hill and she silently prayed to the Mother and the Father and the Warrior that they might return her safely and keep Elia safe.  
She fell asleep shortly before they reached the harbour and when she awoke it was in a small cabin on a ship which was rocked by the waves.


End file.
